"By small and simple things..."

It has been wisely said that "by small and simple things do great things come to pass". I really feel that way about my life on an everyday basis. I am the kind of person that does better with goals and some kind of schedule to follow, basically because I am a procrastinator and need to create "deadlines" so to speak for myself. And actually, I think that most people are more successful when they have goals to work towards.

So anyways, I made myself a chart, or outline of things that I would like to accomplish on a weekly and daily basis.
Week 1: fantastic, almost 100% completion!
Week 2: about 50-60%, and
Week 3: OMGoodness, it's Wednesday and I forgot all about the chart!!

It all started to slip when I got out of my morning routine. One small oversight and the whole kitten caboodle starts to go down the drain. I know that 100% completion EVERY week is not highly possible, BUT I do know that I can and should be doing WAY better than I am at present...

So here goes, by the accomplishment of each small and simple thing will my greater goal slowly be reached- to become a more organized, got-it-together, zin like, stress free, don't have to freak out if company comes over at the last minute because the house is already clean, I spend time every day to further the development of my little girl MOM.

The Driven Mom CHALLENGE: try it out for yourself, you'll feel better about yourself, what you have accomplished, AND your life! :)

to be OR NOT to be...

So what does it mean to be a "good" mother...
To me I guess that it means actually growing up- hahaha!
I have always been told that I was mature for my age, and sometimes I think that that maturity held me back from fitting in more with my peers at times. Of course, there is more to being mature than simply knowing when to be serious and how to avoid stupid decisions.

Now is when I take the time to seriously look into myself and honestly try to better the flaws that I find. I have to do little things, especially in the ways that I use my time each day and try not to use it selfishly. I need to be proactive in making certain that my little girl is getting what she needs developmentally and emotionally. I don't want her to feel forgotten or ignored because I didn't feel like putting in the effort to show her more about the world.

It is MY job after all, not the job of the babysitter or teacher or preschool, to teach her and help her and guide her through her development and through her life. Right now, especially right now, I am almost solely responsible for her happiness while daddy works and mommy stays home.

The question I ask myself is,
"Am I up for the challenge and will I dig in and do the things that need to be done even when it isn't convenient, even when I am tired, and even when I would rather do something more self stimulating or interesting?"...

The answer is "YES", because if I wasn't ready before, I have to be now.



Motherhood definitively isn't a cakewalk, but it certainly is sweet! :)

A little reminder of what Easter really means...

Here is a beautiful reminder of what Easter is really about, and of what we should never forget :)

LDS.org - Family Chapter Detail - The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Apostles

Parents of Parents

I think that no one ever truly understands why parents say the things that they do until they become parents themselves. I have found that I am just as over protective as my mom was. I worry about so many possible dangers, and try to plan for millions of possibilities whenever packing the baby bag. And, although I am resigned to the fact that stuff does and will happen, it is my job to smooth as many bumps and prevent as many bruises as I can. I understand much better why it bothered Mom and Dad so much if I was late coming home, or didn't look both ways before crossing the street.

Thank you Mom and Dad for all of your patience and love! Thank you for smoothing as many bumps and preventing as many bruises as you could, but also knowing that one day it would all be up to me.

Overwhelmed by a mothers love...

I really love being a mother. I find myself in awe at the simple beauties that my daughter shows to me each and every day. One of the absolute most important things that we as people can do is to love and nurture children. When I look at my daughter, I can see why Christ said that unless we become as little children we can in nowise enter the kingdom of God. They are simple, pure, innocent, full of never ending love, and teachable if nurtured with love and patience from a young age. I learn more and more about what is really important in life everyday as I try to see the world through her eyes. I only hope that I can grow to be the mother that this beautiful baby deserves, and I thank God that He saw me worthy of such a precious and beautiful gift.

I understand that people have free will and make bad choices. I know that there are children born everyday into situations that are less than desirable, deplorable, and even abusive. But I know that God loves and watches over those children everyday. I also know that I have a responsibility to be the best I can be and to help and make a difference whenever and however I can.

We all have a responsibility to be ourselves, BUT to always be our better selves. TOO MANY think that moralistic ideals are now impossible to maintain in today's world. I want whoever is reading to know that IT CAN BE DONE. We can rise above our selves. We don't have to accept corruption, pornography, sex in EVERY aspect of advertisement and entertainment. Abstinence is possible before marriage, Fidelity is possible within marriage, happy homes where everyone eats dinner together around a table is not just for the 1950's.
Women can be nurturing stay at home moms and still stand as equal, valuable, and intelligent marriage partners and contributors to society. Less is often times more, and what is the purpose or use of all the money in the world if one is alone and has no one to trust, respect, and share with?

I love my husband, I love my daughter, and I love our Heavenly Father. I believe in God the Father, and in His son Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. I know that one person can't change the world, but I can effectively affect my own part of it, and I know that the greatest joy and happiness in life is found in doing so. Even if we don't share beliefs we can still love and respect one another. Our lives are in our hands, and because of that- so is the world and its future. Let's make it the best that we can. If only for our little children.

I CAN Survive!

So it's pretty neat that when I drive around Berlin I feel like I am finally starting to recognize the different areas and understand where in the city that I am. I grew up in a relatively small town, and was about 45min. from any large city. Living here is definitely different and has taken some getting used to, but I think that it isn't all that bad.

It is really nice to be in a place that offers so much culture and activity, if you actually go out looking for it. Of course, MOST major cities will offer similar things, but I had not lived in one until now. To go from small town to big city livin', well, it takes time to get used to hearing your neighbors stomping above you or to being jam PACKED into the subway cars- but after a time you start to feel a sense of accomplishment when you are able to "survive", so to speak, and to navigate without too much trouble.

I am becoming a Berliner. And I think that I like it.

GOTTA keep moving!

OK, so my husband has been home sick all weekend and stayed home Monday and Tuesday from work. That basically meant that he had commandeered our computer and that I was unable to complete my video project. I have also been struggling to get up the courage, or "the will" you could say, to work out again. Sometimes I will have a great workout and afterwards find myself thinking- "OK, I did really well, so that should last me the next 2 months a least, right?". WRONG. LOL!

At least ONE thing has been going well. Baby is finally getting her bedtime routine together. Bath time at 8:30pm, bedtime at 9pm- AND she is actually doing it! Sometimes it takes a little longer for her to go to sleep and actually STAY asleep, but a lot of the crying is over. The only thing now is that she sleeps for about an hour and then wakes up again. She'll go back to sleep if I fed her, I just have to be careful that I don't fall asleep with her, otherwise she ends up sleeping with me all night! OK, so I'll admit it, there seem to be a few loose ends yet to be worked out- but we're getting there. :)

One great thing I have been accomplishing more and more, little by little lately is the practice of my harp. I am not an accomplished player, but I want to be better and I can play simple things and beginning piano pieces on my harp. I want to brush up on my guitar though, too, so that Baby and I can sing song together one day- Baby plus siblings yet to come :)

At the same time I have to remember to PRIORITIZE and make sure that GERMAN study is number one (after Baby, of course)...even though I would much rather do other things. At times, I feel like a person with split personalities. One side is the little girl that would rather play all day and pretend that German didn't exist (because, you know of course that if you ignore a problem that it goes away...NOT...if only it were THAT easy), and the other part is a concerned mother that goads and scolds the child into doing what is in it's best interest (I hate that responsible side sometimes- LOL!). So, alas- I must bend to responsibility and press on as the ever motivated, or RE-motivated mother. I can't lose my DRIVE. :)

One small step for most, One sore step for me!

Well...I finally got up the nerve to workout yesterday. I ended up doing an hour of Dance Revolution. Laugh and make fun of me if you must, but try tellin' my sore thighs that it wasn't a workout! I had it on workout mode doing a program I call dance till you drop. OH MY GOODNESS, I was a stompin' maniac. I am actually getting pretty good, but that program goes through about 6 songs non-stop, 6 challenging and fast songs. That will burn about 47 (give or take) kcal. per round. BUT, my goal is 200 kcal. each session. Let's just say, I was afraid that I was going to puke at one point...sad isn't it :)

I did a stair step approach. I went through like this: easy, hard, difficult, and then easy for a cool down. WOW, I think that I will either be skinny in no time, or I will just have monster bulging thighs- not sure which yet, only time will tell.

Is it too soon for a HOORAY?

Well, it might be too soon for Hooray, but I can almost taste the victory. Last night I gave baby a bath before bed and went through our whole new bed routine and things were going really well. Bath time at 8:30pm, bed time 9pm...that's when the fun started. 9pm to 11pm was all about, "please stop crying and go to sleep".

HOWEVER, from 11pm to 1am she was sleeping soundly, and she even rolled herself onto her stomach- a first for her in bed. But, unfortunately, baby was not to blame when it came to getting back in bed with mom and dad...by the time 1am rolled around I was SOOOO tired that I caved and brought her into the bed so I could sleep. AAAAHHHHH!

It seems that this whole baby sleeping in her own bed thingy is going to require more strength of will on my part than originally thought. I have to re-train us both- LOL!

As far as my goals are coming, I have 30min. more of German to do today, need to read to the baby, read scriptures, go on a walk outside, DO LAUNDRY, and think of something nice for dinner (my husband really likes that goal- go figure!). I am shooting to publish me first German video on Monday.

L-O-N-G nights

First, I realized yesterday that I over estimated the time needed to create a decent German instruction video for youtube. I have been thinking and decided that posting one once a week would be better and more manageable, which is what this is all about, right? Trying to accomplish goals, not just to make goals, that's the point.

NOW, about last night-
WOW, getting our little girl to bed has become a REAL challenge! I will admit that PART of the problem has been jet lag. We got back last week from visiting my family in the states, so I can understand that there would be some sleep issues. But oh my goodness, it's been over a week since we got back!

As a new mother I have been diligently striving to climb the proverbial mountain and come into my own zen like state of momness. You know, it's that point at which you know everything, you always know best, and eyes grow in the back of you head. Of course, it unfortunately is a path fraught with perilous undertakings and, yes, mistakes as one learns and grows. Some days I feel like Baby and I are gaining understanding at about the same rate, then there are other days that I feel just plain dumb- lol!

Since Baby was born we have been doing the whole "Co-Sleeping" thing. I really think that whoever thought that up was a crazy person that must have ended up like our midwifes' sister-in-law who's 19yr old son STILL sleeps with her and her husband. I on the other hand will never, NEVER, do that again with my other children yet to come. I now have a four month old that only goes down for the night if she is next to mommy and allowed to suck while she falls asleep (YES, I know, another cardinal sin).

So now my husband and I are paying the price of first time parenthood and praying every night that she will PLEASE decide that tonight is the night she will sleep on her own.

We are trying to get her into a better bedtime routine, which includes a bath every night and a story before bed, as well as lavender lotion for extra soothing power :)

I was so desperate to get her into sleep mode that I even gave her a bath at 11:30pm last night. It did help, but not enough to solve the problem. So I did some research and decided that we need to get out of the house more during the day as well so that she really sees the transition from day to night more clearly. It is just sooo cold right now!! There is snow everywhere, and I hate being out much this time of year.

So that brings me to where I stand now, forced more and more into a daily schedule and routine- the only funny part is that I enjoy having an organized day, I just lack the ability to always follow through.

BUT, as a new and DRIVEN mom it is my duty to give myself a big KICK in the posterior and move along.

You can't get better at ANYTHING if you don't try to be better at SOMETHING...so one thing at a time- "baby steps" you could say :)

Goals...Step 1- a life experiment

I think that the key to success is to truly understand oneself and be honest about your individual capabilities. That doesn't mean that you have to go and blab to everyone else about your shortcomings or insecurities though- thank goodness! They can still go around thinking that you're pretty much perfect, because if you really understand what it takes for you to achieve your goals and be successful then all that everyone else on the outside will see will be you reaching your goals. HA-HA!

For me, my problem is that I dream big and can be VERY over zealous and try to accomplish 20 new goals at a time. The reality of it is, though, that I really need to master each new habit and behavior one at a time in order to truly change patterns and reach new heights.

Doing the Doggie Paddle in the Bear State

So here I am in Berlin, Germany, the bear state, and I find myself a lone Texan. My husband and I moved here to spend more time with his parents, especially since he is an only child and all. I, however, am one of three.

The real ringer is that when we moved here, I was seven months pregnant. Did I mention that I don't speak German? So now I am the new mom of a beautiful baby girl, trying to figure out all the momness that all new moms have to learn while at the same time frightened to go out into the world of sausages, sauerkraut, and chocolate alone because, OH YEAH, I don't speak German...at least not in complete sentences- which poses somewhat of a problem.

Before we moved I was always busy. I was either in school, finishing my degree, or starting my career as a teacher. Don't get me wrong, being a stay at home mom has always been a dream of mine, but it DEFINITELY takes some adjusting. It is a different life and routine. I wouldn't trade it for anything though, I love the fact that I am able to watch my daughter grow and develop each day. The real issue is what to DO with myself besides just taking care of my infant. I want to feel productive in other ways too. I want to nurture and develop my talents further. AND, I of course NEED to learn German!

I feel that most days I have barely been keeping my head above water. But, with the new year, this is as good a time as any to get my act together and achieve better balance and fulfillment in my life. I need to stay charged and fulfilled spiritually and emotionally so that I will be able to better give and share with my family, you can't give if your cup is empty and you can't give much if it's only half full. I choose to have a full cup, a cup that runneth over- so to speak.

They say that necessity is the mother of invention. I think that necessity is also the mother of sink or swim. So, for now, I find myself doing the doggie paddle in the bear state.