What does it mean to "have time"?
I had a conversation the otherday with a very intelligent young woman, recently married and seemingly well grounded. She stated that part of the reason that people today don't have children today is because they just don't have time for children any more. She was a little annoyed, I think, by my answer that that simply isn't true and told me that I needed to respect other peoples ideas. I didn't want to have her upset with me, I like her, and so I told her that while I can respect the ideas of others, that is all that they are...ideas, not reality.
My husband and I don't "have time", we MAKE time. There will always be more work to do, something more engaging, stimulating, or fun to see, listen to, or be a part of...and at the end of everyday you can say, "I just don't have time". BUT, in all actuality we MAKE time for what we want.
I have always been a big believer in the saying, "where there is a will, there is a way". If you want to make it happen, you will make it happen. How often do we sit on the couch and how many hours are we watching TV? "TV?", you say, "I don't have time to watch TV", so how long are we on the computer everyday, how many hours do we spend reading our favorite novel, chilln' with friends, or even working overtime at the office?
All of these things take up time and, lets face it, there is NEVER enough of that in the day...so how can we MAKE time?
The answer is a word that so many people won't want to hear...sacrifice.
My personal and latest guilty pleasure is reading novel after novel from my e-reader. I personally have seen how this overindulgence is just as bad as watching TV, because for all the differences I still spend a large amount of time selfishly thinking and doing only what I like and not think of and doing things that are more stimulating and exciting for baby.
I am NOT saying mothers don't deserve and shouldn't have an enjoyable outlet in their lives, but I am saying that as mothers we need to find a balance, and maybe also a time in which to enjoy that outlet when it doesn't detract from baby time (in the morning, naptime, after bed...ect).
I already had a great childhood, my parents sacrificed a lot to make it that way...now it is baby's time and turn. I owe it to her to make hers the best that I can be and not unstead live selfishly thinking only of my own "wants".
Sorry to be hard lined, but that is being a mother. We sacrifice time, (our bodies :) ), careers, day to day desires or whims, and sometimes even dreams...but to be a good mother and raise a good child...that is worth all of the sacrifice and more. Children mean investment. No other investment return plan brings higher yields than a happy child can.
I don't "have time", there are sooooo many things to do, dreams to fulfill, places to go, and people to see...I make time. I make time to make baby smile, make time to teach her the faces of family members that live on the other side of the world, make time to love her, to hold her, to kiss her, to teach her how to "pody" and hope that I can also soon teach her how to USE the "pody" instead of her diaper.
I say, if people don't want kids- they shouldn't have them. Heaven knows the world doesn't need anymore abusive, or ignoring parents, BUT don't make up some excuse about why. Because, the answer is almost always really because they just want to keep their freedom and independence. People make time for what they want. I want a family, so I make time for one. I have seen successful families subsist on little money and means, so I know it can be done...they make time for what is most important- eachother. And though those families may have been low on means, they were rich in love.
And, at the end of the day, isn't that what we are all really after anyways?
